


Golden dust

by Rona23



Series: Merlin´s  magic [42]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Gen, Good Morgana (Merlin), Knights - Freeform, Magic, Merlin is a Little Shit, Merlin is magic, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Merlin's Neckerchief (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Merlin, There is a lot of explaining left to do lmao, knights of the round table - Freeform, merlin is Emrys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:01:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27629224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rona23/pseuds/Rona23
Summary: Long ago, long before Arthur was born, magic had been a constant in the life of Camelot.And Albion in general.Magic is neither good nor bad. It chose who wielded it. And nobody had ever been able to reject this gift. This power.But just because nobody ever could before, doesn't mean there would never be a first.And that is the beginning of Arthur Pendragon. And why magic decided to serve him.
Relationships: Arthur & Emrys, Emrys - Relationship, Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Morgana, Merlin & Sir Galahad, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Merlin´s  magic [42]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1588378
Kudos: 204





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I noticed my habit on commenting within my own stories is getting worse... And since I don't wanna interrupt your reading experience, I decided to make a few footnotes instead.   
> So in case you are interested in the way my brain makes decisions... read the notes at the end of the chapter XD
> 
> Yes, this will need at least a second chapter. The ending is too open. Even for my own taste. I hope I'll be able to get more done the next following days. :)  
> We'll see ^^ Now, have fun with this little chapter D:

Long ago, long before Arthur was born, magic had been a constant in the life of Camelot.   
And Albion in general.   
Magic is neither good nor bad. It chose who wielded it. And nobody had ever been able to reject this gift. This power.  
But just because nobody ever could before, doesn't mean there would never be a first.   
And that is the beginning of Arthur Pendragon. And why magic decided to serve him.

\-------------------------------

Nimueh and Uther Pendragon never really got along. It is a given between siblings that they banter a lot.. But years upon years of pranking each other left them in a state of rivalry that at some point had turned all too real.   
It got worse the day Uther took Ygraine, who Nimueh has always had a crush on, to be his wife.   
She resented him for it, but her feelings for Ygraine never wavered. They just changed slightly. 

Some day, Ygraine complained to her friend, that she was unable to conceive a child for Uther's sake. For his legacy.   
So much that, when Uther practically begged Nimueh for help, she agreed with almost no hesitation.

“To create life, you must sacrifice another! Even magic cannot mess with the balance of the world! Are you prepared to sacrifice everything for this cause?”, Nimueh wasn't sure Uther had that much of a heart. Uther had never loved anyone. At least not as much as he loved Ygraine.   
Which, in truth, is one of the reasons why she helped Uther at all.   
In the beginning she had believed it was all a farce to mess with her. But when she saw how Uther looked at her... she knew.   
Nimueh knew Uther's heart was true about Ygraine. It's one thing she hated about him. Because she couldn't hate him for it. Love was the one thing they had in common. And her heart ached, knowing that Ygraine had chosen him over her.   
Though they still remained friends and Nimueh managed to move on … she never understood Ygraine's decision. And that had left her with small remains of fury towards Uther.  
And Uther was very much aware of that.

“I am prepared to give my own life for this. Yes! I would pay any price.”, Uther said sternly. Nimueh only nodded. And hoped, this was enough. She had a feeling it wouldn't work as well as Uther hoped. But if he was willing to try, then she would definitely try.   
She owed him that much. He was her brother after all.

So she went with Uther to the throne room and painted circles of magic, runes of the old religion, on to the stone floor.   
She began to chant, as her master and the masters before her master had taught every generation of the high priestesses of the old religion.   
“I, Nimueh Pendragon*, high priestess of the old religion call upon magic! You who is embodiment of life, creature of and beyond magic! Emrys, I call upon you!”  
She didn't need to shout this, for the echoes to enhance her voice in the small hall. 

Her eyes glowed golden, as she spilled a cup of her own blood onto the ground. Slowly, the thick substance followed the trails of the lines on the ground. Dark, bloody Pendragon red covered the grounds. 

And then, as if magic had decided to be offended by the color alone, the blood turned as golden as the cup. It rose into the air like golden dust and circled into a form in the middle of the circle.   
A man, old, crooked and wise, with a beard so long it reached down to his knees, made of golden flames appeared in their midst.   
Nimueh could hear Uther gasping and stepping away. He had always feared magic. But he had never despised it. Respect was good. It made him cautious, so his father had always taught him. Nobody ever told him that fear was not a synonym for respect.

“Nimueh.”, the golden figure spoke, his head tilted.   
“Emrys.”, Nimueh bowed before him. “I have called you for an unholy favor.”  
“I know.”, the man drawled out. His voice was warm, but sad. Like he was disappointed.   
“You humans should not mess with life and death, Nimueh. It is far beyond your comprehension.”

“Forgive me, my lord.”, Nimueh said and bowed even further.   
“But it is my brother who needs your guidance. He needs an heir. Or else Camelot will be left with no ruler when he dies.”  
“What about you, Nimueh?”, Emrys spoke kindly. “You have served Camelot for as long as Uther has. You could be next in line.”  
Nimueh opened her mouth, but closed it again.   
Uther looked almost furious. “Camelot needs a king! Not a mere queen!”, he almost barked at Emrys. And then he stumbled back, not sure why where the courage to say this had come from.  
Then again... fear and respect were not the same.   
Fearing someone makes you either cower before them or lash out on them to protect yourself. It makes you flight or fight.   
Respect lets you talk to someone on eye level. This was not something Uther would ever understand. 

Emrys looked him up and down.   
“Uther Pendragon. Your idiocy has been a menace to Camelot for years. Why won't you just be quiet?”, Emrys said calmly. It was strange to see his golden figure move. He waved his flaming hand at Uther and soon the man was quiet. Holding his mouth like someone had snapped it shut.   
Which is exactly what Emrys had done.   
“I do not wish to take the throne from Camelot.”, Nimueh said with certainty. Hoping to sound humble.   
“No. You wish to be the leader of the priestesses.”, Emrys said knowingly. 

Nimueh paled.   
“I know you Nimueh. Magic runs through your veins. And as all humans, you desire power. But you don't desire power in the mortal realm. But in mine.”  
Emrys shook his head.   
“Neither of you is ready to give the price this magic demands. I will not help you.”  
And with that Emrys dissolved into sparkles of golden dust. 

The once glowing room darkened once more. There was a tense silence between the siblings. Only after the last spark died out, Uther and Nimueh had found their voices again to raise them at each other. They threw insults at each other. Blaming each other for the turn of events.   
As they always did.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emrys did not leave. Not really.   
Uther and Nimueh were both not selfless enough to pay the price for the gift of life they demanded. But there was someone, he felt, who was.

It was true. Uther did need an heir. If neither him nor Nimueh were ready to provide for one, the royal households of their sworn knights would start to fight each other to be next in line.   
There would be chaos and war.   
Emrys wasn't very fond of war.  
But to grand their wish, the world ne eded a price. For stability and balance. Emrys had once tried to defy this balance, because he loved the living.

But each time he had tried, death would seek that balance again. And for one soul, the gates between the realms tore apart more and more. Souls that would not find hosts roamed the world. The dorocha, they were called. And they brought nothing but deaths. Deaths, because killing people left an empty shell. And the dorocha desperately tried to find hosts.  
But a dead body was a dead body. Without magic, without life, they would never reach their goal. So they left chaos and havoc instead.

Emrys needed to guard this balance. He guarded the balance on this side, his sister guarded the gates from the other.  
His sister, who was death itself.

Now, Emrys could sense a soul. A presence. Desperate and full of love for both these bickering siblings.   
Emrys manifested himself in Ygraine's chambers once again. 

The woman in question had been praying to the gods of the old religion. To send her a child. To give hope for the future of Camelot. To grand her a son who was kind and humble and full of love.   
She would give everything to give this gift to her husband.  
Uther did not deserve her. But neither did Nimueh. 

Ygraine looked up and her eyes widened in shock as she noticed the golden dust settling in her room. The she bowed almost immediately.  
Emrys' presence was not an unknown one. Nimueh had conjured him before.   
(Emrys looked a lot like dragoon. Just older and wiser with an even longer beard. He had lived for thousands of years, after all. )   
“Have you come for me?”, Ygraine asked. “Are you here to answer my prayers?”, she asked.   
Emrys sighed. She was kind. But she too asked for magic to solve her mortal problems. All humans did.   
Only few were chosen to wield magic to help those who couldn't.   
But the chosen ones tended to favor power over the beauty of magic.   
Ygraine was selfless. But some souls were so pure, Emrys did not dare test them. Humanity needed a few good souls left. 

“I am afraid you won't like the answer I have to give.”  
Ygraine sighed. “I understand.”, she said, her voice accepting, if still sad.   
“Your husband's sister has called me.”, Emrys added. “She and Uther are ready to sacrifice a life for your son. But they care not for who will die. As long as it's not themselves.”  
Ygraine's eyes widened in shock.   
“They were ready to betray the price they have to pay. There are ways to prevent death from taking what is rightfully hers. She does not like to be betrayed.”  
Ygraine looked down. In shame for her husband and friend.

“He would betray me like that? He would betray Camelot like that?”, Ygraine asked, as if it was Uther alone who had planned this.   
Emrys nodded and walked around her. Then he narrowed his eyes.   
He could feel her soul yearning for a son. And while she was disappointed of her husband, he could also send a flicker of hope.   
“Is he that desperate for a son?”, Ygraine asked and Emrys could feel her practically begging him to say no. Or yes. She seemed uncertain.   
Emrys nodded truthfully.   
“Would you take my life?”, Ygraine asked after moments of contemplation. Emrys scanned her with his magic. The room golden brightened for a moment and settled on her golden locks. 

“Your son would be touched by magic.”, Emrys added. “He would have magic.” Because every soul that Emrys touched would gain access to him. To his power.   
All humans crave power. Some more than others. Because souls want to live. And magic was life.   
The more powerful they became, the longer they lived. But the more access to magic they had, the more they had to bow to Emrys. Because Emrys controlled magic. He controlled life.   
He could block their access to him. He could make their lives cursed ones. 

He tried not to though. He tried to nurture their talents. To help them help the world.   
It was difficult, because the most selfish people tended to have the most magic.   
Emrys was a fool who hoped he could change them to be better. He failed often. 

“He will have to bow to the old religion. If he is selfish, he will become a tyrant. Is that a risk you're willing to take? For Camelot and for your husband?”, Emrys asked. Because he was not the one who decided which soul his sister would send him. Just like his sister never knew which life Emrys was sending her to take back. 

This is part of their balance. 

“Yes.”, Ygraine sighed with a smile. “Because I know he will be better than that. He will accept magic. He will bow to you. He will protect Camelot. My husband may be a forceful king. But I know he will love his child and teach him to be the best king this world has ever known.”  
Her eyes sparkled with conviction. 

“You are willing to pay the price.”, Emrys said and it didn't need to be a question. Ygraine bowed to him again.   
“Very well.”, Emrys said and sighed. His head turned towards the sky as he send a message to his sister. He could not open the veil without a sacrifice. But he was always connected to her spirit.   
“Cailleach!**”, he said. “I offer you a soul in exchange for a soul.”, he whispered through the veil. The gate was always present. You could only see it, when it was open though. 

Emrys himself could always call through it. Or knock. His sister would hear him. And she would always respond.   
“Emrys. Can't you, for once, call me for something other than business?”, she scoffed through the closed veil. And yet, her voice managed to make it sound old and wise, rather than annoyed bickering.

Emrys sighed sadly.   
“You will always be sad at loosing a soul, won't you brother?”, he could hear her say. Emrys didn't respond.   
“Now, Ygraine.”, Emrys sighed and held out his hand. “It is time.”  
“Already?”, Ygraine asked.   
Emrys sighed. “He will breathe the moment you stop breathing. You have already conceived.”

And it was, as if within mere moments, Ygraine realized she was pregnant. Heavily so. And she went into labor almost a second later.   
It was a miracle that should not be possible. But Emrys was the impossible.   
And as he waved a hand to make her fly to the nearest bed, screams echoed in the entire castle. 

Suddenly, servants were roaming the room, as well as Nimueh and Uther were as well. Who were both too disturbed by the situation to even notice the glowing golden man in the room.  
Only shortly after, a child, a boy with golden hair was brought into the world. And in the moment he took his first breath, Ygraine gave her last.   
Emrys sighed, as he checked on the soul now under his protection. 

And then Emrys's eyes widened as he stepped forward to take the child into his arms. Uther and Nimueh, only seconds ago mesmerized by the child, were suddenly hung over Ygraine. As they noticed she stopped breathing. They must have realized what had happened. What Emrys had done. They were crying and screaming at each other of betrayal and their fights turned darker and more fearsome than ever.   
A sibling bond once so strong, ripped in half. 

But Emrys had no eyes for them.   
As the child opened his eyes and looked at Emrys, there was something... different. Different from other souls Emrys had ever touched.   
“You don't have magic.”, Emrys concluded, upon caressing the child.   
He looked so small. So trusting and kind. As kind as his mother.   
This child had rejected magic? 

Emrys tried to pry a look into this soul. It spoke of nothing but friendliness. Kindness. Equality.   
“You do not desire power.”, Emrys whispered.   
“You don't desire obedience or eternal life. You desire to make the most of the life you are gifted with.”, Emrys concluded.   
“You came to this world, not to rule Camelot, but to serve it.”

A child may not be able to form conscious decisions, but souls are different. Souls have a personality. One that manifests within the human host later in life. It adapts to the surroundings and their upbringing. But before that, it is completely true to themselves.   
And this soul does not require eternal life. This child will not grow up to be a tyrant.   
This child will have power in the mortal realm. It never asked for it. It doesn't even know this will be his life. But.... he will use it to serve the people. To improve Camelot. And bring peace into the world.   
Emrys could see it. Could sense it. And it touched a part of his existence that had long lost hope for humanity.   
He could see how many enemies this pure soul would have to face.   
This is the first time Emrys had ever witnessed something akin to this. 

“YOU!”, Uther Pendragon's eyes were tear stained. His sister was shouting at him, just as restless but smarter than her brother.   
“YOU have caused this! YOU! MAGIC! YOU KILLED MY WIFE! I will hunt you down! I will kill you! Hand me my son! Give her BACK TO ME! NOW!”  
He was furious.   
But Emrys felt in disarray.   
Because this child was connected to him. But not in the same way as the druids or other magical creatures were. All he saw in Emrys was a friend. Or so it seemed. Emrys had never had a true friend before.  
'I will protect this child with all I have.', Emrys thought, confused at his own decision.  
It was a surprisingly easy decision. 

And then Uther ripped the child from Emrys's hands. And the magic he was made of dissolved into thin air. Leaving nothing but two fighting siblings, a baby and here and there, glowing sparks of magic dust. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Emrys was not to be seen in Camelot ever again. Uther had banned magic from the kingdom. Because he knew, that Emrys could only travel between everyone who had been touched by magic. So he decided to hunt down everyone who possessed even a small spark of magic.  
Never was he aware that his son's connection to Emrys was enough of a gateway for Emrys to appear in his chambers at any time he wanted. 

But Emrys didn't want to cause more deaths than he already had by fighting Uther.   
However, he wanted to be close to this child. Help him grow into more than Uther's successor.   
He wanted to help him.   
He couldn't as Emrys. So he made a plan and followed a man, who had craved power once. But with the years, had learned to see the responsibilities it brought with it.   
He was a dragon lord. A man Uther had began to hunt about a year after Arthur Pendragon was born.   
Balinor was grown into a kind and generous man. He was one of the few men who were worthy of baring the power of magic.   
He met a woman in Ealdor and fell in love. And that's when Emrys decided there was only one way he could ever go to Camelot without Uther recognizing him.   
So he could protect the child from the shadows. 

He gathered all his strength and made himself a soul. A soul that would never die. That he could never send through the veil, because it was his own self. It was life itself.  
And his sister and him were not supposed to meet since the world had been created. 

Emrys was supposed to serve this world. But he had a feeling, that his sister send this child for a bigger reason.   
Arthur was more than a normal human. A human without the hunger of power never existed before. Now it did. He could become the greatest legend this world had ever seen.   
And Emrys was desperate to see something else than complete destruction. He wanted to see hope.   
This boy was this hope.   
He could feel it through their connection.   
The not demanding anything. The acceptance and peace this child would offer. It was a dream Emrys had long stopped dreaming. 

And so, only two months before Balinor had to leave Camelot once more from the hunt on sorcerers and dragon's that Uther so recklessly started, magic lowered himself into a form far beneath his worth. Far beneath his power.   
When Merlin was born, his eyes were as golden as his entire being had once been. 

And the druids... those beings who all had only asked for little power, and got little magic, they felt his rebirth among the plane of existence.   
So did the dragons. So did all creatures of magic. Emrys was human now.

\----------------------------------------------------

Years passed among the mortal realm. And Merlin was send to Camelot. Without his memories of his past life, he was trained in magic by Gaius.   
And the dragon beneath the Castle told him all kinds of nonsense so he would fulfill what he had come here for. Even if Kilgarrah decided to make a few.... creative adjustments. Asshole.

Merlin learned to serve and protect Arthur Pendragon. And after a while, it became his purpose in life. He killed Arthur's enemies, despite his own hatred for murder.   
He protected him from harm. From sorcerers and everyone who ever dared to lay a hand on the prince.   
Then Uther died and Arthur became king.   
And finally a life of hope for magic was created. Arthur was a fair and just king. And he even gave magic a chance. 

Merlin however.... Merlin had seen so much evil within magic that he wasn't certain about it's kindness anymore. His own views on magic had changed. Because really.... he never saw a single kind sorcerer. And if he did, they were somehow destined to kill Arthur. Can you blame him for loosing faith in what he once held so dear? 

“Are you sure you want to do this, Arthur?”, Merlin asked with worry, as he helped Arthur get dressed.   
Arthur rolled his eyes at him, but didn't move, so Merlin could button up his shirt for him.   
“Yes, MERlin. I am sure. I think my father was wrong about magic. It's not as bad as you think.”

Merlin didn't look at him. Instead he intensely focused on the buttons, almost ripping them off in the process.   
“I'm not saying that I don't agree with that. But -”, Merlin sighed.   
“Sorcerers have a tendency to want you dead, Arthur! Your father killed so many of them and they all plan revenge for what he's done!”

“There have been sorcerers who have helped me before. Someone HAS to lay down the weapons. Otherwise this war will never end!”  
Merlin bit his lips.   
“You're right.... just.”, he took a deep breath. “Name ONE sorcerer who has ever helped you, if not for their own benefit!”

Arthur scoffed, then laughed at Merlin.   
“Let me think really hard about this, MERlin.”, Arthur stepped back, to check his appearance in the next mirror.   
“Your childhood friend William for example. He saved my life.”  
Merlin inhaled a deep breath. “That doesn't count!”, he said almost without thinking. Because Will had not been a sorcerer. Just that Arthur didn't know that.   
Arthur turned to him bewildered.   
“Okay?”, Arthur asked confused. “Then what about the Dolma?”  
Merlin bit his lip.   
“Oh come on now, Merlin. I know she kidnapped you. But she gave you back. It was a precaution and you insured me she didn't hurt you!  
What about Morgana?”  
Merlin opened his mouth, but closed it again, because Morgana had been trying to kill Uther on multiple occasions. And if Arthur hadn't somehow convinced her to stop and reconciled with her, she'd certainly be furious enough to try and kill them all. Hell, she did try before.   
Sometimes Merlin wondered what would have happened, if he had poisoned her, back when Morgouse attacked the castle and killed king Uther.   
Merlin still wondered about that.

“Oh, and let's not forget about Mordred.”  
Merlin winced internally. Mordred was also a very bad example.   
“Or that sorcerer who protected me from Nimueh all those years ago, when you were dying. The blue orb thingy.” At this point Arthur was counting the “different” sorcerers on his fingers.

Merlin sighed. Wasn't it a bad sign that half the people Arthur was listing off were basically Merlin in disguise? Or people that took the blame for the magic Merlin had used?  
Merlin was NOT a good example as a magic user. He had brought too much destruction already. 

“Okay okay. I have at least one more.”, Arthur walked towards Merlin and put both his hands on his shoulders. And for one moment, Merlin feared that Arthur knew. That Arthur knew he had magic and was fine with it.   
Without knowing what Merlin had truly done with it all those years.   
He wasn't sure he was ready to face that level of trust coming from Arthur himself. He wasn't sure he was ready to explain. He couldn't bear Arthur hating him. Or seeing him in a different light.

“It's a good one, I promise.”, Arthur clapped Merlin's wavering shoulders. “Balinor.”  
Merlin stared at him. Okay... Admittedly... that WAS a good one.  
“What?”, Arthur threw up his hands in desperation. “He saved my life in that cage! And he went to die for YOU. He had magic. But he didn't use it to kill us. He was ready to fight for Camelot, DESPITE hating my father! If that's not good, then I don't know what is.  
Oh wait. What about Gaius? Hmm?”  
Arthur sighed, as Merlin's eyes only widened slightly. Merlin let his head sink. Right. True. Those two were pretty good examples though.   
If only it weren't for the fact that Balinor literally died and Gaius was … Well. Let's just say it didn't quite sit well with Merlin that Gaius rather let hundreds of people die of diseases that could have been fixed with magic, just because he was afraid for his own life.   
I mean.... sure. Merlin understood why. That didn't mean it wasn't wrong! 

“Don't you understand, Merlin? We can FIX this world! We can STOP the war! Isn't that what you'd want? Peace for Camelot?”  
It was a testimony of their friendship that Arthur asked for Merlin's opinion. And considered it carefully. 

“Of course I do.”, Merlin answered, defeated in this useless debate. Of course Merlin wanted peace. Of course he wanted MAGIC back in the realm. He was just scared for Arthur.   
Because apparently, the five kingdoms were to sit down within Camelot. And each of them would discuss matters on magic. And each and every kingdom, except for Arthur's own, had court sorcerers. Or generally druids or wizards in their council.

Arthur however, was almost completely unprotected. Sure he had Morgana. But Morgana was still untrained, as Morgause who had offered to teach her magic happened to be dead.   
And Mordred may be a druid, but his magic was weak. He was basically resigned to telepathy alone. He could barely conjure a fire. Let alone defend the king.   
Merlin could. Yet it was obvious why he shouldn't.

He didn't want Arthur to think he had betrayed him. He never would. He didn't want to make him feel that way. At this point it wasn't even about the lies itself anymore.   
It was just that Arthur deserved better than to be lied to. And as paradox as it sounds, Merlin would rather keep lying to him than have Arthur realize what a pathetic excuse of a friend Merlin was.   
Arthur deserved better.   
That's why Merlin pretended to be better. 

Arthur even forgave Morgause for killing Uther. Mostly because he had died for it, still! Camelot was still far from peace. Still far from accepting magic.   
Especially the towns people who had been brainwashed by Uther's laws, his speeches and his desire to kill everyone who appeared to have even an ounce of magic.   
And the knights who had murdered sorcerers in Uther's name. They feared to be punished for it now that the laws were changing.  
Well, not all of them, naturally. Some of them knew that Arthur would show mercy upon them as they only did as they were ordered to.

So now, Arthur's most trusted knights and the kings and queens and their advisors and court sorcerer's sat together at the round table, discussing peace treats with each other.   
“We must say, we were a bit surprised by your offer of peace, Pendragon.”, the queen of Mercia said, leaning back in her chair, as her cup of tea floated in the air in front of her.   
It was such a useless display of magic. But it was a test on how Arthur would react to it. And so far, Arthur was reacting perfectly calm. Even if his inner curiosity seemed to win over his eyes, as they followed the cup with unfiltered interest.  
Merlin stood behind Arthur, watching them all with stern eyes. He knew he was being paranoid. But there were so many potential and or former enemies in this room, he couldn't risk being distracted. 

“And by your change of heart about magic.”, the newest king of Essetir added. He was king Lot's son who had passed last winter because of a sickness even his healers didn't know how to fix.  
Arthur smiled. “I have simply realized that my fathers decisions about magic came from a place of fear. Rather than a place of understanding.   
I want to understand magic first, because I persecute their users any further. I know that many of my citizens view my decision as rash and foolish. But there are many more who welcome my decision.   
Many of the druids have agreed to give my rule a chance and have begun working as healers and entertainers in my kingdom.   
I am hoping sincerely that they will be able to proof that magic can be used for good.   
That it's a good thing.”

Merlin twitched at that. And even though Arthur's words warmed his heart, another thought basically drowned out his feeligs of hope. What if the druids became selfish? What if they started hurting citizens? Many had, even before Uther became king of Camelot. Gaius had told him about it. Magic had been causing much chaos before it was banned.   
Many people had been selfish about it and used it only for their own good.   
They had not cherished it the way they should have. They had abused magic for selfish reasons. Merlin simply feared that history would repeat itself.

The kings and queens at the table nodded in agreement.   
“You are much wiser already than your father ever was, young Pendragon.”, the queen of Mercia said with a smile. And her cup returned back to the table.   
Arthur smiled sadly at her. “I wish he could see this.”, he said dreamily. “My father always dreamed of uniting the lands. I can't believe I'm here to see it happen.”

The people surrounding the table laughed. “We haven't come to that yet.”, the queen chuckled.   
“No.”, Arthur agreed with a nod. “But we are closer than ever.  
And that was true.

\--------------------------------------------

As the manservant of king Arthur, it was one of Merlin's duties to prepare the royal guest chambers …... for their royal guests. As you'd expect.  
Granted, many of them came from richer countries and were used to bigger and fancier rooms. But most of them were also used to lower their standards for other countries.   
Gwen was preparing the rooms for the ladies and Merlin for the knights. George, as he was the most competent servant, took care of the chambers for the kings and queens, as their rooms required extravagance and the highest standards.   
Nobody knew what George's secret was.... but he managed to exceed royal expectations in but a fracture of the time Merlin and Gwen needed to do their own chores.   
Sometimes Merlin wondered if George had magic too.

Anyway- that's how Merlin found himself overhearing the knights talking... about him.   
“Have you seen that servant behind king Arthur? He was staring at us like a watchdog! I BET he's one of those antis. Probably hates magic. To think he's the manservant of the king! With such high hopes, the king should seriously reconsider his choices of servants.   
What if this one's gonna kill him in his sleep for changing the laws?”  
Merlin only sighed, as he knocked twice and entered the room with a basket full of freshly washed shirts. 

“Good evening, Sires.”, Merlin said and bowed slightly. 

The knights looked at each other and then began laughing. Clearly, because his timing was practically perfect. 

“Ah, speak of the devil.”, one of the younger ones said. “Hey, boy, what was your name again?”  
What he said was normal. The way he said it promised no good.   
“My name is Merlin, Sire.”, Merlin said calmly, but his eyes flickered towards the door.   
“Should I leave? I hope I'm not intruding on anything... important.”, he added unimpressed, as one of the knights started to enchant a small knife and let it twirl over his hand.   
Merlin briefly scanned the knife and then decided that he's faced worse than such shallow magic tricks.   
Especially since those two seemed to want to demonstrate just how much of a prat they were. 

“Oh no no. Please stay. In fact, we were just talking about you.”, the knights face twisted into an abomination of a smile.   
“You seem awfully protective of your king.”, he said, not registering how true his own words were. Just seconds ago he had accused Merlin of wanting to kill Arthur in his sleep. Now he turned the table on Merlin. Why? Merlin would never find out. Whatever they were playing at, Merlin wouldn't let them get this far.   
Merlin could defend himself, thank you very much.   
“Of course I am.”, Merlin said coldly. He didn't like these people. They gave him bad feelings. 

“And that is so considerate of you.”, another knight cruelly chimed in, as he examined his own sword. Then he stood up and walked towards the servant. Who stood there, relaxed but prepared for almost anything.   
“But if we wanted to kill the king, we could do so easily. A meager servant like you won't be able to stop us.”, he grinned. “If anything, you're just giving us ideas.”

Merlin's eyes narrowed. But he didn't break eye contact. “I am well aware. But please consider that as a servant, and especially as a servant assigned to treat all royal guests, I could easily poison your food. And you wouldn't even see it coming.”  
Merlin smiled innocently as the man's grin faltered for a moment.   
“Don't think for just a second that just because I'm a servant, I'm powerless. So I give you a hint of advice. Try to do anything stupid in this Castle or by god, hurt my king, the be prepared for the consequences. Understood?”

The knight blinked. And then he actually backed away at the fire in Merlin's eyes.   
“I could kill you on the spot.”, he said, but he sounded uncertain at Merlin's confidence.   
“Yes. And then you'd have to explain to king Arthur why you killed his innocent manservant.  
Uther may have trusted in YOUR innocence, simply because you wear the title of knighthood. But Arthur is different. He won't show you special treatment over murder. Try to explain to your king how you thought killing a servant was worth risking the peace contract.”

As certain as Merlin sounded, as easily the knight backed away even further.   
“I washed your clothes, as requested. Will that be all?”, Merlin put down the basket of laundry and looked at the knights expectantly.   
The two of them exchanged a glance, then they nodded. “Yes. You are dismissed.”, the first one said, and let the knife drop to his side.   
“Thank you, Merlin.”, he added in an afterthought, if only to make sure Merlin WASN'T going to poison them.   
“No problem, Sire.”, Merlin bowed with a smile and then he turned around and left.   
Maybe they weren't so bad after all. 

Things went on like this. Knights of all kingdoms cornered Merlin only to mess with him. This treatment wasn't unusual towards servants. Merlin was used to them. That's why he didn't even complain, when one of the knights of Mercia stabbed him in the arm with a knife.   
The other knights, who had already had the talk with Merlin, stepped in and tried to calm him down and convince him to stop, while simultaneously trying to make sure that Merlin wasn't going to talk to Arthur about this. 

Neither of them wanted Arthur and Merlin to talk about any of this.   
They learned their lesson, when the tried to confront Arthur about Merlin's misbehavior.   
And you know what Arthur said?  
“Merlin is a brave man. He is utterly loyal to me. He may be incompetent as a servant, but he is brave and he has a good heart. So if you somehow managed to upset him, then -”, Arthur's voice had lowered to it's deepest. The tone only reserved for people he intended to murder.   
“I wonder what YOU did to HIM.”, and in that moment it was pretty obvious that Arthur was as protective about Merlin, as Merlin was about him.   
Needless to say, nobody would dare to hurt a hair on Merlin's head ever again. Well... you can imagine the panic that overcame the knights, when they noticed the bloody knife in Merlin's forearm.

Luckily, Merlin promised not to talk to Arthur about the knife. It was bleeding quite heavily already, but Merlin knew better than to pull it out. It could have hit a vital artery.   
One of the knights was actually trying to “help” him by doing just that, but Merlin stopped him.   
“I'm the court physician's apprentice. I know how to handle this. Don't touch the knife.”, Merlin shook his head. He was way to calm for someone who had just been stabbed.  
Then again, after eight years of surviving magical beasts, swords, poison, evil sorcerer's etc. etc., Merlin found this scar would blend in perfectly with the others. 

The knight in question seemed to notice Merlin's calmness, as the small servant examined the wound.   
“For how long have you been Arthur's manservant again?”, the knight asked, extremely pale, as Merlin instructed him to bind of the circulation in that particular arm.   
“Eight years.”, Merlin responded calmly. But was quite thankful the man decided to lend a hand. 

“And for how long the court physician's apprentice?”  
“Just as long.”

“And you're not accepted as a full physician yet?”, the man tilted his head, as Merlin kept instructing him to pull the rope tighter. Then Merlin grabbed the handle of the knife himself, slowly pulling it out, while the knight pressed the wound together.   
A second later, Merlin cleaned out the wound with alcohol. And then he began stitching it back together. ***

“Technically I am. Just – not used to be trusted in that kind of way.”, Merlin shrugged and kept stitching.   
It appears, the man had not hit any vital points. 'Lucky me', Merlin thought almost dejectedly. 

“That's how you have access to poison, I assume?”, the knight with the light brown hair looked pale at the realization that Merlin, in fact, could have poisoned them this morning during training, when he brought them water to cool of.  
Merlin laughed. “Yes. Don't worry though. I'd only use it, of you try to hurt Arthur.”  
The 'But I would definitely use it' was kept unsaid. The knight understood anyway. 

“Who says we wouldn't succeed?”, the knight sheepishly asked. “In hurting Arthur I mean. You keep saying 'try'.”  
Merlin looked him in the eyes. “All the assassins of the past eight years that failed, I would assume. Let's not start with the sorcerer's who succeeded in hurting him. You don't want to know what happened to them.”

The knight paled even further. “Do you always threaten royal guests like that?”, he asked.   
“Only if I don't trust them.”  
“And you don't trust us?”  
Merlin was quiet for a second.   
“Is it, because we're sorcerer's? You don't trust sorcerers, do you?”, the knight asked, slightly worried at the realization. Because if Merlin didn't trust sorcerer's, who was to say Arthur wouldn't eventually change his mind about them?

“Most of the assassins were sorcerers.”, Merlin sighed as an explanation. Then he finally removed the rope that still bound of the circulation in his arm. It came back slowly, but Merlin already wrapped up the wound.   
“You must realize that not all of us are that bad.”, the knight said and tilted his head.   
“You guys keep telling me you could hurt Arthur, if you so pleased. That isn't exactly helping me to trust you.”

The knight winced, then chuckled. “We're knights. We just like to provoke people. Because -”  
“Because you're in a position of power. I get it.”, Merlin said and sighed.   
“Just don't discuss plans to murder Arthur with each other. It makes me nauseous.”  
The knight nodded. Then he halted for a second.   
“You call him Arthur?”, he asked and blinked a couple of times at the realization.

Merlin didn't answer for another few moments.   
“You really do care about him, don't you? This clearly isn't your first wound either. How many times have you been stabbed to protect him?”

Merlin only send him a glance. Then he shook his head, before removing his scarf.   
The knight inhaled a deep breath. How was Merlin to explain that he had been tortured before? Or that bandits had tried to slit his throat, when he didn't answer their questions about Arthur?  
How was he supposed to explain the burns and cuts that covered his throat. And it was the part of his body that – next to his face – was least affected.   
“This is as much as I can show you.”, Merlin sighed again and ignored the stare of the knight. 

“Don't get me wrong.”, Merlin said. “I'm not scared of your magic. I don't hate it. But people tend to use their powers for bad things. And magic is one hell of a power.   
Do me a favor and be mindful of what you do with it.”   
The knight opened his mouth to say something. But he had already made his point of what they could do with their power. And how they chose to provoke others with it.  
“What about king Arthur? He's the king of Camelot! He has more power than all of us combined! Even with our magic, we don't rule an entire kingdom! Your king does! How is that any different?”

Merlin smiled, before turning to him again. There was a look, so fond and protective on his own face that the knight backed away.   
“Arthur uses his power to help people. He considers other people's opinions. He established the round table so that no one can be put in a seat that is any less important than his own. Arthur knights people based on their talents, not their status. Not even their gender.   
Arthur protects. To the point he'd rather give up half his kingdom than putting his men in danger. He once stopped an upcoming war by striking a deal with their queen. That he would fight their best champion. The one who won the battle would be the winner of the war.   
Arthur fought the chosen warrior himself, because he didn't want any of his men to die. He won. And nobody died that day. Not even his opponent.  
THAT is what Arthur does with his power. That's who he is. And that's why this is different. HE is different.”

“Do you think he'd be the same, if he had magic?”  
The knight asked this innocently. But Merlin's head snapped up. But that sentence... that somehow struck him.   
“I believe...”, Merlin said, confusion now lining his expression. There was a feeling in his veins. One of warmth, but also memory. Somehow Merlin KNEW the answer to that question. It wasn't a simple guess, he was absolutely CERTAIN.  
“I believe he wouldn't use magic at all. Even if he had access to it.”

The knight nodded slightly, in utter confusion though. “Would YOU use magic, if you had it?”, he asked.   
Merlin looked down again. “I would do anything to keep him safe.”, he said seriously. A bitter tone in his voice. “I see.”, the knight sighed.   
“By the way. I'm Sir Galahad. Knight of Essetir.”, he nodded at Merlin who just smiled at him in turn. “I'm Merlin. Manservant of king Arthur.” Sir Galahad already knew that. But it was courtesy that Merlin at least introduced himself.

\--------------------------------------------------

Sir Galahad was making a fair point of keeping his fellow knights in check.   
Which was a huge help for Merlin's constant paranoia. They were off to a great start to becoming great friends.   
Which in hindsight, should have been the first indicator that Sir Galahad will at some point join the Camelot knights. Because Arthur had the strange habit of adopting Merlin's friends.   
Just sayin'.

Anyway. That was after. 

After their council meeting. Merlin had only heard of it, when Sir Galahad told Gwaine and Lancelot about it. Who in turn went to inform Percival, Elyan etc. etc.. Leon most likely already knew.  
They were all supposed to gather in the throne room where the round table had been established by Arthur.   
However, it didn't look like he expected Merlin to burst in as well. 

In fact, the moment Merlin entered the room, finding all required knights present, Arthur looked almost shaken at his appearance.   
“Merlin.”, he said regrettably. In that moment, Merlin noticed how the giant table had been put to the side. (Who on earth did that? When? This morning? Was it George? With his akin to magic servant powers? God damn it, George!)  
“What's happening?”, Merlin asked, looking around, almost accusingly. Someone had painted a giant circle on the ground with.... was that blood?

From an objective point of view this must be absolutely hilarious. The way Arthur faltered at Merlin's reaction. He wasn't far from shouting at the knights to “scatter” and run away, before Merlin would figure out what was truly happening here.   
“I can explain.”, Arthur held up his hands to show Merlin, he meant no harm. 

“Yeah, you better!”, Merlin deadpanned and scanned the room. Was this a magical ritual? The symbols on the ground looked oddly familiar. Merlin felt the strange desire to step into the center.   
“So -”, Sir Galahad began, but Merlin only lifted a hand. Which effectively (without magic) shut him up.   
“I figured -”, Arthur inhaled as he stepped forward towards Merlin.   
“That, to establish peace not only with the five kingdoms, but also with my own people, it would be great if the people knew that the change in the laws was not unfounded. That I'm not doing this to just protect my sister or that I'm trying to find a method to find the last magic users of this land!  
The best way to establish that I'm embracing magic for this land is, if I had magic myself, don't you think? Actually, Sir Galahad gave me the idea.”

Merlin's head snapped to Galahad, who was staring at Arthur and made wide and awful gestures to get him to shut up. Of course, Arthur didn't even notice how he put Galahad into a weird position.   
Merlin raised an eyebrow.   
“And what is this, then? This ...” Merlin had made a few steps towards the middle of the circle. When on earth had his feet started moving?  
“It's an ancient ritual. People of the old religion would call upon Emrys, the god of magic. And if he decides your worth it, he'd touch your life and grand you access to his magic.”

Merlin blinked, examining the circles. Then, he started at the name. “Who?”, he asked and twirled around. He was faintly aware of the staring knights at the exchange.   
It must be strange to them to see the king of Camelot argue with a mere servant. Then again, they've all learned their lesson over the past few days.   
Arthur regarded Merlin's opinion more than any other. And that was quite obvious.

“Emrys.”, Arthur repeated.   
“That's impossible.”, Merlin shook his head. Because.... well. HE was Emrys. Kilgarrah had told him. And he couldn't exactly recall being a god!  
Arthur rolled his eyes.   
“Merlin, I know you hate magic and all -”  
People shifted uncomfortably in the room. Because half of them were sorcerers. If Merlin hated them.... they all feared the servant's wrath. 

“I don't hate magic.”, Merlin shot back, irritated. But received an unimpressed look from Arthur.   
“Oh really. Then you haven't been terrorizing these knights in my name.”  
“You don't understand.”, Merlin tried, almost laughing in a very miserable way, but Arthur shook his head.   
“Listen, Merlin. This is why I didn't tell you. These knights were so kind to help me call Emrys. And I am going through with it. It would be beneficial for this kingdom, if I managed to protect them all from magical harm too.”  
“You don't even know what power magic can have! How are you so sure you'll be able to wield it!”, Merlin was close to shouting now. Arthur didn't crave power! That's not who he was!  
What the HELL was he doing?

“I don't want it for the power, Merlin!”, Arthur sighed. “I want my people to see I'm on their side!”

And that's when he gave Sir Galahad the sign to continue with the ritual.   
It was awfully quiet now, as Sir Galahad dropped his own blood onto the circle. Why blood, you wonder? The thing is, sorcerer's are connected to Emrys. Their magic is connected to him.   
So, to call him, they need something that proves this connection.   
Their blood is this proof. That's also, why the blood on the ground was not Arthur's. It was Sir Galahad's. The wound on his hand healed after he chanted a few words over it. 

Then the knight began to chant. Ancient words that somehow struck a chord with Merlin.   
Merlin blinked.   
“Emrys, father of magic! King of the magical realm! God of the old religion! We humbly ask for your presence!”, Sir Galahad bowed down to his knees. And the other sorcerer's followed his example.   
Arthur watched in awe at this portray of worship. 

Merlin however, felt like he was in a trance. 

“Look, Merlin, there is nothing – Merlin?”  
Merlin couldn't stop himself, as he slowly, almost gracefully walked over the ruins. Careful not to destroy any of them, he stood within the circle, his back towards Arthur for now.   
You could hear some people angrily protesting in the background. Accusing Merlin of hindering the ritual.   
That was, until Merlin turned around.   
“Merlin?”, Arthur's eyes widened like dinner plates, as his hands fell to his side and he stepped back.   
The thing was... Merlin's eyes had begun to glow golden and that effectively shut the last complains up. “What?”, Merlin asked, feeling drowsy all of a sudden.   
“MERLIN!”, Arthur's tactic changed, apparently, as he stepped forward to help Merlin.   
Help.... because the glowing eyes was not a magic reveal.   
Because glowing was not where it stopped. From the center of Merlin's eyes, his skin began to fickle into flames.   
Suddenly, Merlin's face was literally burning up. 

And then, just before Arthur managed to reach him, Merlin exploded.   
It was, like time stopped in front of them all. Once upon a time, Emrys, with the appearance of an old man, would have stood upon this circle, judging them with knowledge of millions of years.   
Now, however. Emrys was reborn.   
Out of golden dust and golden flames, a new figure emerged from the darkness and inflamed the circle he was standing on.   
“MERLIN!”, Arthur screamed, because he thought he'd lost Merlin. He thought he'd lost his best friend.   
But Merlin's body remained part of the explosion. The explosion that had stopped in time. 

“What the hell?”, Merlin muttered and stared at his hands. There was a window in this room, in which Merlin could see his own reflection. In shock, he touched his own face.   
It didn't burn. It just was. 

His eyes flickered across the room, where the sorcerer's all stood up now. Whispering among themselves.   
Sir Galahad did too. “Merlin?”, he asked, just as stunned as everyone else was.   
“Yeah?”, Merlin asked. His breathing was getting harder and harder.   
But nothing compared to Arthur's look of poor horror. 

“You're...”, Arthur couldn't even finish his sentence. Then he turned to Galahad, almost shaking him from anger. “THIS IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR! CHANGE HIM BACK!”

And then, as if muscle memory hit Merlin, he could suddenly feel everyone around him. The magical connection these sorcerer's had to him. How they drew their magic from him. Their power.   
“I've been here before.”, Merlin said. And maybe that was a mistake.   
Because the whispers grew louder. 

“Merlin, what the hell is going on?”, Morgana suddenly jumped in, while Sir Galahad tried to explain to Arthur that this had never happened before. That he didn't know what was going on. Merlin had been so preoccupied with the whole situation, he hadn't even noticed Morgana standing here. He hadn't noticed any of his friends.   
He could feel her magic. And somehow, he remembered how she had gotten it.   
She had been gifted with it by Emrys himself. He had seen a child with great potential and great kindness and decided to grand her the gifts to use it for good.   
Somehow, his own heart softened. She had done great so far. For someone in her situation, she had held her own hatred back quite fantastically.   
So that's why her magic started to act up almost as soon as Merlin had come to Camelot. The connection had become stronger through his presence. 

Merlin blinked. “I think...”, Merlin shook his head. Then he looked at Arthur.   
Arthur who....   
“Arthur.”, Merlin said, almost confused. He remembered the child. He remembered Ygraine. He remembered this very soul.   
“You've already been touched by magic.”, he said and waved a hand at him.   
Arthur blinked. “What?”, he asked, intelligently, finally stopping to throttle Galahad. He also seemed to realize that Merlin was still, in fact, Merlin. Even though he looked like he was possessed by magic itself.   
Merlin blinked and held his head.   
He remembered too much. Too many things at once. It was overwhelming. 

Now, not everyone who had magic had been touched by Emrys himself. Some people were descended from chosen ones. It run within their blood. It was often about blood in the old religion.

“You've never searched for power. You don't use magic, not because you can't, but because you unconsciously decided not to.”, Merlin explained and the stunned silence turned heavy all of a sudden.   
“That's why -”, Merlin's eyes widened, as he remembered. 

Arthur stared at him. “What are you talking about? Merlin, what the fuck is happening to you? You're burning! You're literally in flames.”  
“I am Emrys.”, Merlin said. And this time he remembered. It wasn't just a name he was given by the druids. It was his name. His old name.   
“And I was reborn to protect you. So you'd become the king you are today.”

And with that, the lights in his eyes flickered out. The circle turned dark and bloody once more.   
For a moment, as the people needed to adjust to the lack of blinding light, it was completely dark in the room.   
And then, Merlin looked up at the group of people.   
He had never.... felt so alive. He had always felt magic. But never to this extent. It was like he had just remembered who he was and now his magic was back to it's original form.   
Raw, unaltered, bottomless power.   
And he'd still use it all for Arthur. 

But more than that, he could sense the people's natures. How good hearted they were. How ill intended they could have been, if treated wrong.   
These people didn't intend to harm Arthur. They wanted peace. And they wanted to achieve it by following his example.   
For the first time in over ten years, Merlin relaxed at the sight of potential threats.   
Finally, he knew who he was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not sure how I went from drama to pure humor again. But I suppose that's the shows influence :)   
> If it's good or not, depends on the episode.   
> Roll the dice for this one ^^

Nobody seemed to understand what was going on. Even though Merlin was pretty sure that saying: “I am Emrys. And I was reborn to serve you” was enough of an explanation, Arthur didn't seem to get it. 

Instead, Arthur ordered George to clean everything up. 

Not to interrupt the plot, but - Merlin was actually ecstatic to see George. Because the man just genuinely didn't have magic.   
It was fantastic. Such raw talent. For the first time since Merlin knew the servant, he marveled at the sight of such a pure soul. A man who just did his job perfectly to this extend, because he seriously loved his job. Because he was genuinely good at it. 

Merlin smiled upon watching him.   
Which in turn, freaked Arthur out. Because Merlin never smiled at George. Frown, yes. Watch him with caution, maybe. But smile? That's like saying Arthur was gonna go vegan for three days.   
Like....instead of deer, he was hunting bread sticks. And let's be honest. Anything beyond three days would be a bit of a stretch. **

With the help of a few knights, and magic performed by sorcerers, the round table was sat back into the middle of the room, so everyone could sit down.   
Merlin just watched. He didn't flinch at the sight of magic, which made Arthur's worry grow even further. After all, the lights in Merlin's eyes had died out, right? Shouldn't he be back to normal?   
Then they all sat down.  
All except for Merlin. 

“Merlin.”, Arthur's voice wavered, as he tried to figure out if Merlin was truly Merlin. Or if he was still possessed by Emrys. “Emrys?”  
Merlin turned to him either way. His gaze calm. For once not worried anymore. He knew magic again. He knew himself again. He knew what he could do. He had been the most powerful warlock on earth only minutes ago. Now he was far beyond that. 

If he needed to, he could take magic away from sorcerers now. He didn't need to kill anymore.   
“Sit down?” Arthur asked uncertainly.   
Merlin nodded. Then he walked towards the opposite side of the round table.  
The other knights kept their distance in awe, while Arthur's gaze was fixed on his servant.   
His servant who, pointedly not afraid of anything anymore, waved his hand and an extra chair appeared out of nowhere. Then Merlin sat down among sudden silence.   
All the chatter that the knights had so slowly regained, gone, within an instance.

“What …. what just happened?”, Arthur asked. But the question wasn't directed at Merlin.   
“He just -”, Arthur fared.   
“Is Emrys still here? Is that still … What's happening to Merlin? What's going on?”, Arthur's voice was now full on shaking. 

Merlin blinked. Sir Galahad, who sat right next to his king, was trembling as well. But his voice was more certain. “Your majesty -”, he began, his eyes flicking from Arthur to Merlin.   
“I believe … Emrys has chosen to be reborn as your manservant. That is what he said. And Emrys never lies.”

Arthur's eyes widened comically and his shoulders slumped.   
“Then.... will Merlin ever come back? Where is he now? Will Emrys stay forever?”, he sounded weak now. Defeated. Unable to process what was actually happening. He was too set in his own explanation to see the real picture. 

They talked about Merlin like wasn't there. But Merlin could understand this. He felt Arthur's soul after all. And Arthur was mourning the loss of Merlin. Which made sense.... in a way.   
In a wrong way. Because Merlin wasn't gone at all.   
“How do we get Merlin back?”, Arthur added seriously after a few moments. 

The surrounding knights stared at him as though he had lost his mind.   
“You want to get rid of Emrys?”, Sir Galahad asked exasperated. Whispered, as though he wanted to make sure Merlin couldn't hear them.  
Arthur stared at Merlin. Who was listening calmly, but still marveling at the new revelation that was his soul connection to everything and everyone. 

He had totally forgotten about it. He couldn't remember souls being so... kind. This new generation of people he hadn't seen come into the world ... they weren't vengeful. There was confusion, yes, but no hatred.  
Merlin hadn't known he lost the ability. Since he didn't even know he had it in the first place. But something had always been missing. Now he knew what it was. Ironically... magic.   
The very thing that filled up his entire life, that held such a huge place in his heart...... it had been incomplete. 

“If that's what needs to be done to get Merlin back, then yes.”, Arthur gulped. Uncertain of what Emrys was capable of. Of what he would do now. To Arthur. To his kingdom. To anyone. But Arthur's gaze was firm. The man was ready to throw a fit against a god. The only thing holding him back was NOT that Emrys was powerful. It was that he was seemingly occupying his servants body.

“You are talking about the god of magic here, your majesty! Listen to yourself! You claimed you wanted magic back into the realm! You wouldn't turn your back on peace for a simple servant, would you?”

Arthur didn't answer. But his face twisted in pain. 

“You would.”, Sir Galahad's eyes widened in realization, then his head snapped towards Merlin.   
“Emrys, your highness! Don't you have anything to say to this?”

Merlin's head perked up. All eyes were on him. Fear and admiration from dozens of knights. All directed at him.  
Merlin looked at the table, then at Sir Galahad. Then he smiled at Arthur.   
“Just moments ago, you were willing to bind your own soul to Emrys to make peace with his people. Now you want to sacrifice all that for a mere servant.”, Merlin said knowingly. He could read that it was true in Arthur's heart.   
He felt so oddly touched by this gesture.   
He knew Arthur cared about him. But it was such a rare thing to see him act that way. Okay, to be fair, that wasn't Arthur's fault. It's just that Arthur was mostly worried about Merlin, when Merlin disappeared... or was on the verge of dying... you know.... When Merlin wasn't present to see him act this way.

Merlin made sure to talk in third person about himself. Not to be petty or anything, but he wasn't really sure who he was right now. Emrys and Merlin were two sides of himself. Two separate sides. Now they were blending in with each other. They were becoming something knew. And he didn't have a name for that yet. Or made the decision which name he wanted to stick with. 

Arthur clenched his jaw. “You may be a god. But Merlin is my friend, Emrys. You have no right to possess him. If this is what magic does to good people, then I'm not sure of it's intentions anymore.”  
Merlin's gaze loosened. Arthur's heart was darkening at magic for this?  
Because of him? The knights seemed to share his sudden fear. Because Arthur turning back on magic would set the entire kingdom back into the dark times.   
Merlin wanted nothing less than a second purge. 

“Arthur, I'm not possessing Merlin.”, Merlin said and felt how Arthur stumbled over his own heart.   
Admittedly, the phrasing was misleading. Because he was addressing himself in third person, you could get the impression that Emrys had killed his host.... Which wasn't.... a good assumption to make either.  
“Then where is Merlin?”  
“I'm here.”, Merlin said confused. Arthur stared at him and huffed in confusion. 

“Don't mess with me. I know you're not Merlin. I know you're Emrys.”  
“Yes. No..”  
“Why would you say you're Merlin?”, Arthur's expression shifted. His head perked back as his facial features shifted into something downright irritated.  
Merlin looked down at the table, while everyone was watching. “Because I am”, Merlin said pointedly. But Arthur looked ready to throw over the table at his increasing frustration. (If he managed that, that would be extremely impressive. After all they needed a dozen knights to even put it back in place!)

“Stop these games and stop them now! God damn it, explain! You can't be Emrys AND Merlin without possessing him! You can't be Merlin who hates magic and be Emrys who IS magic! It. Makes. No. Sense!”, Arthur gritted his teeth with anger. 

“Why not?”, Merlin said with a sad expression. He looked apologetic.   
Arthur blinked. He opened his mouth, but no sound escaped his lips. The knights were kept tense as they were barely allowed to be witness to this. 

“Arthur, I'm sorry.”, Merlin said and started to play with his thumbs on the table.   
“But Emrys and Merlin aren't separate people. At least not anymore. They – we- never really were.”

Arthur frowned. “What?”, he asked in utter disbelieve. “Stop talking nonsense.”  
Merlin took a deep breath. Maybe he should explain from the beginning. But- where should he begin?

“When Sir Galahad painted the magic circle, he called upon Emrys as they have done for thousands of years. Emrys is magic. And magic is ingrained in the fabric of this world. It surrounds you. It always has. When Emrys is called, magic is drained from within a sorcerer's blood and creates a form so that Emrys can talk to you.   
Emrys has a conscience. He – I -”, Merlin stopped. “I've always had a conscience.”

“So you ARE Emrys!”, Arthur concluded and stood up angrily as if this was the end of it.  
“It's not that simple.”, Merlin shook his head. And then his eyes glowed golden, causing Arthur to flinch back into his seat with a small yelp.  
Merlin called upon the golden sparks of magic and created a miniature version of his old self in the middle of the round table.   
“THIS is my old form.”, Merlin explained. 

“Isn't this Dragoon?”, Arthur blinked and stared at the figure.   
Merlin nodded.   
“But Dragoon is human.”  
Merlin winced. “Dragoon … the Dolma...”, he shook his head and let the magic shift into separate people. “The sorcerer who saved your life in the cave all those years ago....”, the magic shifted into an orb and for a moment the entire room glowed blue instead of golden.   
“... the sorcerer who fought the bandits that attacked Ealdor...”, the magic shifted back to gold and showed Will's death. “They're all me.”  
Arthur's eyebrows raised, his mouth opened in confusion. 

“You know about the deal your father struck with me, don't you?”, Merlin asked and let the magic twist into his memories of Ygraine and how Arthur was born. 

Arthur tilted his head. “That was a lie.”, he said, but he didn't sound so sure anymore.   
“It was not.”, Merlin sighed. Arthur slumped even further. Sounding utterly defeated by now.   
“Merlin would told me it was. Merlin wouldn't have lied to me.”

Merlin lowered his head. “I did.”  
As Arthur was about to protest that this couldn't make sense, Merlin shifted the magic dust into other memories. Into Balinor and Hunith who found each other in Ealdor.   
Arthur's eyes widened as he saw Balinor happily laughing with Hunith. Obviously recognizing the man who had died for Merlin. At the same time he must feel very irritated, because how much of a coincidence was it that Balinor and Hunith were friends? And then slowly, Arthur seemed to get closer to the truth. As he sat up straighter and his eyes widened, while his mouth opened up to a small gap. The magic shifted into a lone pregnant figure looking out a golden window longingly for her husband. 

“I – Emrys – decided that you are worth protecting. Because magic is power, Arthur. And nobody has ever been able to abstain power. No soul I ever touched, has been. You however, were. I don't know how exactly. But it means that you are different. You're not greedy. You're kind. And I believe in you. So I chose to protect you. So you could become who you are today.  
But to protect you, I had to be human. Because your father didn't allow my presence in his castle.”  
And that's when Merlin waved his hand to show a picture of baby Merlin. With golden eyes.   
Merlin locked eyes with Arthur.   
“I am Emrys. And I became Merlin so I could stay at your side. Ever since I've been Merlin, I've been using my magic for you. Only! For you.”

“Merlin has no magic! He HATES magic!”, Arthur still tried to argue, but then Merlin shifted the magic dust into other memories.   
These ones didn't need to drawl on for long. They were just pictures, jumping from one to the other. The Griffin, the dragon, the questing beast. Assassins, sorcerers, druids, witch hunters.   
The Sidhe, everyone who ever dared lay a hand on Arthur.   
And in every picture was Merlin with golden eyes, taking care of them. Defeating them. Killing them. Ordering them to leave. The pictures were shown only long enough for Arthur to recognize them.   
And yet his eyes darted from detail to detail with growing panic. Was it panic? Shame? Fear? Hurt? Or just plain realization?

The knights stared at each other. Eyes widening at this confession.

Arthur's breathing was increasing. “Merlin hates magic.”, Arthur repeated himself in order to convince himself that he KNEW Merlin. That he knew Merlin better than anyone else. He did, actually. But that just speaks of how little people really knew him at all. “He hates sorcerers, he -”

Merlin licked his lips in shame. “I know what magic can do. Because I've used it to hurt people myself. I've met more sorcerers who want you dead than those who believe in your ability and your kindness.”

There was a pause. 

“And I killed all of them.”

Arthur's eyes widened even further. If that was somehow possible.   
“Merlin would never -”  
“For you, I would do anything.”

Sir Galahad clapped a hand to his mouth as he remembered the conversation he'd had with Merlin.   
'What would you do, if you had magic?', he had asked Merlin. 'I'd do anything to protect Arthur.', Merlin had answered.

Merlin sounded so sure, so incredibly certain and unwavering that it knocked the breath out of Arthur's lungs. As he was the only one in the room who was yet unaware of Merlin's unwavering loyalty.   
It was quiet. For several minutes, nobody dared to say anything. They were all too preoccupied with trying to process all this. 

“Wait... so am I getting this right? You're... you're actually a god? Always were?”  
Surprisingly, it was Morgana who interrupted the silence. She looked worried, confused, intrigued but ironically, also amused. 

Merlin smiled at her. “I'm hardly the only god you ever met, Morgana. You know the disir, who is my mom.... kinda. My moms, depending on how she decided to appear. You should also have met my sister, the Cailleach. She was there at the veil. She and I are supposed to keep the veil closed. It's never good, when souls just roam around as they please.”

“THAT'S your family?”, Morgana paled. Well... the veil thing. Turns out Morgause had an apprentice who was really mad at Morgauses loss and opened the veil by sacrificing herself. Granted, it wasn't easy to close the thing. Somehow Merlin had been able to convince the very amused Cailleach to close the veil again.   
Which.... wasn't a nice talk. But it had been a private one. She had just refused to take Merlin's (or Lancelot's) sacrifice. Now it made sense why. ***

“Wait – so that's why you collapsed at the feast that day? Because you felt the veil rip in half? Right?” Merlin smiled at her. “Yes, upon other things.”  
“And that's why you survived the dorocha!”, Lancelot chimed in, suddenly realizing why the dorocha's touch killed every single person... except for Merlin.  
“You cannot kill life itself.”, Merlin basically shrugged. 

Arthur was left watching the exchange. Slowly he leaned back into his chair. His breath hitching with each realization as though someone was hitting him repeatedly in the head.   
His brain needed time to catch up. This was a lot being thrown at the poor man. Rich man. Sorry.

“Is there a reason why you left me alone? About my magic? Merlin, Emrys. er- you could have helped me!”, Morgana pleaded. “And isn't Emrys supposed to kill me?”, she was beginning to panic. “I'm destined to be killed by a god?”, she asked, as she realized what she was saying. Arthur winced next to her. 

Merlin laughed. “Sorry about that. Kilgarrah went a bit overboard with the whole destiny thing. I seriously need to talk to him about it. He blew this stuff way out of proportion.  
He told me YOU were destined to guide Mordred into murdering Arthur. I think he was very bored the past 20 years or so. Let's just say we're even for now. Because there was a time where you were definitely planning to murder him!” Merlin pointed at her accusingly, as Morgana exhaled in relief and understanding. “Okay. We're even.”, she said and smiled at him. Kindly, but also with amusement. 

“Okay, STOP! (wait a minute)*”, Arthur interrupted them and once more he stood up. But he was still shaking.   
“Are you for real? You're telling me that Merlin -”, he stopped and eyed Merlin in utter disbelieve and confusion. He didn't look hurt exactly, but distorted.   
“-is a god.” He made a point. Because yes, he understood that Merlin and Emrys were the same person now. But he hadn't registered that that meant Merlin was actually celestial.   
“My servant. The foolish, clumsy idiot who cannot even hold up a sword... the guy who can't hunt for shit, is a god. Who apparently assassinated all my enemies behind my back!”

“If you think about it, it's actually incredible that you never noticed. Most of the time it happened right in front of your nose. Like.... literally. But you were either completely oblivious, OR someone knocked you out.”, Merlin paused and almost laughed as Arthur blinked at him with an absolutely hilarious expression.   
“Maybe all the hits on your head did something to your brain.”, Merlin winked.  
And this.... this was the first time now that Arthur's pained expression loosened. As though he recognized his servant again. As though he was suddenly slapped with behavior that was so distinctively Merlin that for a moment, his fear cleared away.

“And instead of telling me that – not just that you're a god -”  
Merlin interrupted him. “To be fair, my memories were kind of blocked until recently.”  
“Yeah, yeah -”, Arthur shook his head and waved him off. “Then instead of telling me about your magic you just... what – told me to ban magic?  
Merlin, if you are a sorcerer, this contract would be beneficial for you! Why on earth would you want me to reject it?”

Merlin blinked at Arthur accusingly, while a few of the knights whistled in disbelieve. After all it was magic itself who wanted to keep magic banned... apparently.   
“Because you keep getting yourself into magical disaster. It's easier to identify evil sorcerer's when what they are doing is literally illegal! I have a hard enough time trying to protect you from threats only YOU don't see coming! You're clouding my vision with your good sorcerer nonsense! It's better if magic is illegal.”

“YOU'RE ILLEGAL!”, Arthur shot back. It would sound childish, if it wasn't so fundamentally true.   
Merlin gaped at him. “That's not my fault!”, he pointed at Arthur.   
“It kind of is!”, Arthur shouted back. “I would have released the ban on magic way earlier if you weren't so insistent that I didn't!”  
Merlin frowned. “ Have you seen how many people I killed? I am the WORST justification to change that law in favor of magic!”

Arthur threw up his hands. This conversation was getting ridiculous. Slowly the tense knights started to snort into the familiar banter and bickering. 

“BUT I ALREADY CHANGED THE LAW!”

“And I still murder people.”, Merlin crossed his arms. 

“You've got to be -”, Arthur facepalmed. “What do you want me to do? Kill you?”, Arthur asked exasperatedly.   
“Technically, I am forced to stay on this side of the veil or else the world will collapse. It probably wouldn't even work. So I don't think you could.”, Merlin shook his head. 

“What the -”, Arthur inhaled a forceful breath. “Do you want to be banished then?”  
“As if you'd ever get rid of me that easily.”, Merlin waved it of.   
“Maybe I should commit suicide, to get away from you.”, Arthur said, but his mouth was twitching despite himself. Because he started to realize that not only was this conversation absolutely ridiculous, it also proved something.   
Something really important.  
Merlin frowned and raised a finger at him and hissed: “don't you dare!” 

Arthur couldn't help it, he actually broke into laughter.   
The knights who knew Merlin, actually joined in.  
“You'll never change, will you?”, Arthur asked through heaving laughter, so that Merlin smiled fondly.   
“You'd get bored.”, Merlin gave back.

\-----------------------------------------

“Merlin, I can't have you roaming around in my room like some kind of servant!”, Arthur deadpanned later that day, when Merlin was – quite literally – doing his job. And cleaning up Arthur's room. 

“I AM your servant.”, Merlin looked up from the broom he was holding in his hands. He blinked. “Even though I think you could stand doing a few chores by yourself.”, Merlin pointed at Arthur knowingly.

“You could at least use magic to do it!”

“I AM magic. That's like saying I should wipe the floor with my face.”

Arthur turned to him. His eyes fixed incredulously on his manservant.   
“So when you conjured that chair -”

“That's entirely different!”, Merlin cut him off and laughed. He was just joking around. The punch line, however, seemed to be flying over Arthur's head.

“How?... whatever. Nevermind.” Arthur just shook his head in an amused fashion. 

“You're still a god though.”, Arthur paused. Then frowned as he scanned Merlin. The disbelieve still evident in his voice. 

“And yet.”, Merlin huffed. “I am getting paid to do your laundry.”  
Arthur covered his face to keep himself from laughing. “This is so stupid.”, he muttered. 

“How old exactly are you? A thousand years?”, Arthur looked up, as if to ask if Merlin was a child. The age assumption was a bit off though.

The question was meant to be humorous. And Arthur did look amused, but Merlin could sense some kind of disturbance within Arthur's soul. Like this issue did kinda mess with him.   
“More like a couple thousand millennia.”, Merlin shrugged and saw Arthur pale.   
“But I've been human for like... twenty five years. So technically I am still younger than you?  
Oh wait. I've got my memories back like two hours ago. So I'm basically a newborn.”  
Merlin nodded certainly, causing Arthur to snort.

“I'll never get used to this.”, Arthur laughed.   
Merlin shrugged again, but then he used his magic to close the curtains.  
“Did you just close my curtains with your face?”, Arthur snorted again, trying to keep the mood light and calm. 

“It's just curtains. It's not your dirty laundry I'm touching with my magic.”, Merlin shot back, before Arthur could say anything to further investigate this image.   
“I don't understand you.”, Arthur said but flushed for some reason.  
“You don't have to.”, Merlin reassured him. 

Arthur sighed, then he did what he usually did at this time of the day. He got himself ready for bed, before he would eat some quiet dinner.   
There was even enough for Merlin and him both. 

Arthur gestured for Merlin to join him to eat, as they often did lately.   
But before they dug in, Arthur just had to say something else.   
“I know I said you'd never change. But you're already different.”, he said quietly.   
Merlin opened his mouth, but Arthur was quick to add on:   
“In a good way I mean. You seem happier. I've noticed how depressed you were since... I don't even know. A couple of months or so? And I thought that was just due to all the stress of all the royal guests and stuff. Which I guess is part of it...  
But now that you're...”, Arthur gestured at him vaguely and wiggled his hands. 'Now that you're a god again', he didn't say.  
“You seem more relaxed.”

Merlin sighed and nodded. “My connection to magic hasn't been as strong since I became human. When Sir Galahad did the ritual, he re energized it. I feel more alive. I hadn't even realized I was isolating myself from the world and therefore draining myself and magic from the lands.   
And yes that is part of the reason why I was so sad. I can feel everyone's souls again too, so that's nice. I can tell their intentions now. These guys today, they actually want peace. They don't plan to murder you. So that's nice.  
I've been so paranoid for so long, I forgot nice people exist.”

“I keep telling you, they're not that bad!”  
“Yes, but you've had an embarrassing amount of insight on magical affairs over the past few years.” Merlin sighed again, but contently this time. “That's being generous. Your insight was close to none.”

“What do souls feel like?”, Arthur asked, ignoring the jab, while Merlin finally dug in. His hunger had increased so it seemed. Arthur, however, wasn't touching his food.  
They were reversing roles.... interesting. 

Merlin tapped his chin. “How do I describe it...”, he said. “Every soul is different. They are all distinct from each other. Like for example Sir Galahad. He feels a bit like.... I don't know?  
He has a mat surface I think. But he's squishy. Things just bounce of him, but he's also a little transparent, kinda? In a bit bluish purple way. And it smells like raspberries and grass and champagne for some reason.”

Merlin looked serious, as he filled his mouth with more meat, but Arthur's jaw dropped in utter confusion.   
“What the fuck kind of description is that?”  
Merlin shrugged. “I dunno how else to explain it. When he does magic, his soul gives of some kind of green smoke. It's really fascinating.”

“You're messing with me.”  
“I am not!”, Merlin shot back, hand on his heart in mock offense. “You SO are!”, Arthur grinned.   
“I swear!”, Merlin laughed and he really wasn't. It was HARD to explain this to anyone.   
Sensing souls is a different kind of sense. It's like explaining the color green to someone who was colorblind. It's just impossible. You could associate the feeling with other senses. But just because he associated it like this didn't mean it was accurate. Or that anyone else could understand it.

“Then what does Lancelot's soul look like?”

“Oh that's a good one. Lancelot's soul is like... like a filled muffin. Just that the exterior is extremely shiny and red. Like a sword. I mean, as metallic as a sword. But in red. And the filling is like flowers or some shit.”  
“flowers?”, Arthur laughed.   
“Yeah like sunflowers. But really really golden ones.   
He doesn't have magic, but when Gwen's close, his soul becomes really fluffy. It also smells like muffins. No cookies. It's cookies. Or pancakes? Anyway he smells bakery.”

“Bakery.”, Arthur deadpanned with a grin at Merlin's choice of words. 

“Okay, what about Morgana?”

Merlin put a hand on his lips as he was still chewing on his last bite of drum sticks. Arthur's favorite food. No matter if for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Favorably all three.   
When Merlin finally swallowed, he already cut off another peace of meat with his table knife.   
“OH! SHE is pretty!”, he said, pointing the knife at Arthur. Arthur blinked in turn.

“Morgana's soul is like a crystal. Hard, sharp. Impossible to shatter. And filled with green and purple smoke. When she does magic, she glows with it. She smells like iron. Similar to blood or a battle field. BUT!”, Merlin stopped at Arthur who looked astounded, because Morgana didn't just sound badass, she sounded dangerous. Like a villain. Which she was not.

“- that's the aesthetic. It's like someone wears a small knife around their neck. It's supposed to look good, it's not there to stab people. Even if it could.”

Arthur nodded in confusion. “Then... what do I look like?”

It was quiet for a moment, before Merlin put his hands down to deeply look into Arthur's eyes.   
“Have you ever been in a dark forest? And I don't mean dark dark. I mean, pitch black? Like... you can't even see your own hand? You can't see anything. So much that it confuses your eyes?”

Arthur tilted his head. Then he shook it. “No. There's always the moon or the stars around. I can always...”  
“Exactly.”, Merlin smiled.   
Arthur blinked. “You mean my soul looks like the moon?”

Merlin nodded fondly.

“Most souls glow from a magical power from within. That's how our connection works. Lancelot's doesn't glow, because I never created a connection between us. But Morgana's and Galahad's do, because they are able to draw magic from me.   
Yours... is different. Because your source of power is different. Our entire connection is unique.   
The moon doesn't glow by itself. It reflects the light of the sun. In doing so, it lights the way for those who wander in the dark, even if the sun doesn't seem to be there.  
That's what your soul is like. That's who you are.  
And nothing, not the most beautiful flowers, crystals, not even the sun itself can ever compare to the moon.”

Arthur's face fell and he went completely red. “So erm...”, Arthur fiddled with his thumbs. “You are the sun then?”  
Merlin smiled and held out his hand to let his magic wander into them. Golden dust flickered up like flames. “Yep.”

“So.... like... you mean I wouldn't be the king I am without magic... Even though I can't use it?”

“The king you are is defined by the decisions you make. You gave magic back to your people, even though you can't use it. You gave the power back to the people. That's the kind of person you are. It's wasn't magic. It was YOU who made that choice. You are who you are, because of the choices you make. And you decided to use magic in the most unique way I've ever seen. By NOT using it. By sending it free to everyone else.”

“I thought you're mad I repealed the ban on magic?”  
“I actually love you for it.”

Arthur's fork made a clattering sound as it fell from it's unused position onto the table and bounced of to make clinging sounds against the stoned floor. It was spectacular and unnecessarily loud.  
“But -”, Arthur tried, but Merlin cut him off.   
“I already told you. I don't – or rather I didn't trust magic users. I love magic. Always have.   
But I've never seen anyone treat magic – treat power the way that you do. How you lay low in order to be fair to your people.   
How you use your powers to understand people and judge only where judgment is required.  
You are a legend, Arthur. I saw that from the moment you were send through the veil.   
And then I forgot about it for a while and had the chance to see you grow up. Without magic at all. Without any kind of connection to it. Apparently at least.  
And STILL you turned out to be the greatest human being I've ever encountered.   
I've loved you even before I remembered. And that says more about the king you are then destiny ever made me hope.”

Arthur's mouth opened, then it closed.   
“You're not just saying that so I lower your punishment for lying to me all these years, are you?”

Merlin laughed. “You hardly need any more praise, Sire. you're already a self loving prick.”

“And yet, you just told me you love me.”, Arthur pointed out and finally scrapped his chair back to bend down and get the lost fork back on the table. His voice cracked as he repeated Merlin's confession.  
When his head reached over the table once more, all he could see was Merlin grinning at him. 

“Why- that doesn't bother you, does it, Arthur?”, Merlin asked and leaned his cheek against his hand. As though he was mockingly staring at a painting. 

“Of course not.”, Arthur said hurriedly. “I just wondered … in which way you mean it. Because -”  
Arthur stumbled over his words. He clearly didn't know what to say. Or what he wanted to say. 

“That's a stupid question.”, Merlin snorted. But as Arthur just stared at him with an unreadable expression, he laughed a little.   
“The real question is, Arthur -”, Merlin said slowly and wondered if he should mention the way he could see Arthur's soul and heart bouncing in their respective positions. Anxious. But in a positive and hopeful way. 

“Are you going to convince Sir Galahad to join Camelot's knights or what?”****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OJ9U6lVUHQ A.N.: I'm not sorry
> 
> ** I may or may not have edited some of the story to useless punchlines, because I've been watching a few stand up comedies. I'm not funny.... But my mood is
> 
> *** I do alternate the canon plot all the time. It's fanfiction, I can do that. So the Cailleach is cool this time ;)
> 
> **** yeah.... this is the end of this twoshot XD I WANTED to make this more Merthur and then the romance got too fluffy and I stopped. I. Have. a. Limit. Guys!  
> There is only so much fluff I can put in a story....... Which is usually a lot. Not this time though. I didn't know how to let them react to each other without cringing myself to sleep.   
> Also, I would have needed more drama and then this story would have spiraled out of hand AGAIN. Like Memory jar did :) (I wrote.... 140 pages for that one! I planned 5.)  
> PLUS! The age gap is messing with my mind. Also Merlin technically impregnated Ygraine. I don't want to think about it. Let's leave it as it is... before … something.... happens. That I would regret forever. Greatly.   
> Thank you for ignoring me :)

**Author's Note:**

> * (A.N.:// Not gonna lie. I was sitting there, in my chair, thinking: am I gonna do that? Am I gonna continue the clishe of all of Arthur's family members trying to kill him? AM I gonna do that? Can I? I shouldn't. ….. OMF god, I'm actually doing it *laughs amused, while typing “Pendragon”* Nice, I hate it.)
> 
> ** (A.N.// The Cailleach is the gate keeper of the spirit world. Not all remember her name and I too, had to google it. You know the one at the veil, where shit went down with Lancelot.)
> 
> *** (A.N.:// I was trying to find a good resource on how to take care of a stab wound. But most of those are explanations on why you should let the object you're impaled with stay within your body, before you have access to medical help. The medial help (which I was searching for) is modern stuff and I didn't know how to translate it to medieval times. So I made the process up. I'm not a doctor. I just wrote what made sense to me. Don't do this at home, if you got impaled. Get actual help. Don't remove the object. Take care of yourself. The object is blocking your blood flow, which means you won't bleed out unless it's removed!)


End file.
